So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
