So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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