Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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