Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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