He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
