So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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