what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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