trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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