So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
