So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
