shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just pee around me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
