maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
