You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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