she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
