Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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