I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
