Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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