Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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