Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
