New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
