Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
