Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
