Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Randomize
