I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
