Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize