Me too!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize