This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
