I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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