The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
