Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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