They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
