I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
