Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
