guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
