rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
