Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
