You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
