Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My feet surprised me
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