The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
there is another microwave in the elevator.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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