therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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