I love black thongs
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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