I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
