The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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