help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
