i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
