Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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