ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
