i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
