handjob tips. give me some.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
