I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I will die if light touches me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
