I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
