Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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