The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
