Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Mom said you looked used
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
