I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
